Sunday, December 16, 2007

Promiscuity in the Holiday Season

Friday kicked off with a great start.
I had a delay for school due to horrrible roads so Pat and I met for coffee.
Following coffee, we took a drive blasting Lil Wayne and Damian Marley with a cigarette in hand. It was seriously the best way to begin my weekend.

After school I met with Joe to go get some CDs (as you read in the last post)
And you also read- no "mackage" as I so eloquently put it.
A bit disappointing but whatever.

I went to a party Friday night and got completely fucking wasted. It was a magical evening. However, as you also read in my last post, lately I've been particularly impatient...So when 1am rolled around and my friend Dave wanted to go to bed- I followed. Go ETP, right? FUCKING WRONG.

As Dave and I are making out- guess who calls? JOE.
Guess who picks up: DRUNK ETP.
I felt reallyyy horrible. Here's this sweet guy calling me to see how my night went and I'm mid make-out sesh with my ex-fling. Shortly after I sort of just rolled over and passed out.

It's not even the kissing that bothered me about the whole situation- it was the fact that Dave and I, at one time, liked each other a great deal. It meant something. As we were kissing he kept saying things like, "I've been thinking about you a lot lately." It freaked me out.

The whole time I wished it was Joe I was kissing.
The weirdest part was I had been waiting for that forever. When it finally happened, it was better than I had expected, exactly what I needed, but the complete opposite of what I wanted.

I woke up the next morning, got McDonalds with my guys and shortly after headed home with some strong coffee to ease my hangover. Around 2 or so I went to a little Portuguese Christmas party- it was lovely=) Delicious food. Great family.

Joe had told me- during our 1am phone conversation - that we would hang out that night. So I called him around 6:30 to see what the deal was and he responded with- "Well, is there anything to do? I'll call you when I figure out something to do."

Hey, dummy, I'm something to do. What the hell kind of question is that? Anyway-

In desperate need of some nicotine- I called up Pat with the proposal of a trip to Starbucks. We smoked a joint on the way there and got some lattes.

Finally, around 9 I'm wondering what the hell is up so I call Joe-

ETP: Hey, Pat just told me about some party so unless you still want to do something, I'm going out with him
Joe: Yeah, yeah. Just go there.

Dear men everywhere: When a girl says something along these lines to you, NEVER EVER should you say "just go there." That is not the response we are looking for.

I went to the LAMEST party ever, chock-full of douche bags. One girl there was actually begging every guy in the room to have sex with her.
Direct quote: "I'M PISSED CAUSE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WON'T FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME."
I nearly vomited. Except I was stoned so I just sort of stared with my mouth open.

I talked to Joe a little today and it didn't go particularly well. All I wanted was him to just call me and tell me what was up. Don't keep me waiting- fair enough, right? Come to find out- his best friend was home from college so they were getting themselves into loads of trouble. Forgivable.

The rest of my day was pretty much spent sulking around the house, watching my family decorate the tree, and eating half my body mass in chestnuts mmmmm =)

9 comments:

Patchwork said...

"Hey, dummy, I'm something to do."

I really wish you would have said that to him.

And that party wasn't the LAMEST. Lame, sure. LAMEST, far from it.
But let's hope for more 90 minute delays because that was one killer morning.

TKTC said...

I was going to pull the exact quote above- Hilarious. Although I gotta say, good timing Joe and glad you didn't get around to buzzfucking Dave.

Anonymous said...

I'm with patchwork on this one.

Anonymous said...

Well, it seems kind of retarded for him not to just say that all up front. And everything else he's said and done is lame. I guess my conclusions is, maybe the guy's just lame.

So@24 said...

Horrible party? Some girl walking around mad that no one is shaggin her?

Sounds like a GREAT party!

Laura said...

I gotta say, he does sound a wee bit lame. You don't need anything to do if there is someone to do.

Is he just really really shy?

ETP said...

Patchwork- It was the lamest.

Cook- Joe did have excellent timing. Luck can only take you so far- that was a billboard of a sign telling me "DAVE IS A BAD KISSER. JOE RULES. STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND BLAME IT ON THE VODKA TOMORROW." All of which I did=)

Undie- Yes, one would think he is nothing but lame. However, I tend to only blog about him when I'm really annoyed. Maybe too often? We'll see.

SO@24- From a guys perspective, maybe. She merely served as entertainment for the rest of us. Though, it got way depressing after an hour of her rants. The fact that no guy would hit it was just soo very...hilarious, actually.

Bunny- Agreed on all accounts. Except the lame part because I am really not quite convinced of that just yet. Like I said above, we'll see. And yeah, he is a bit shy. But anyone who knows ETP knows I can break a man of shyness if given the opportunity- i.e. couple shots of tequila and a rotating mattress. ;)

Laura said...

Well bring on the mattress then!

'Tis the season to be horny trala lala la la la

ETP said...

couldn't have sang it better myself=)