It is officially Christmas Eve.

SO much shit has happened since I last blogged.

1. I went to a party with Joe friday night.
I really like his friends so going to parties with him is always a blast. He was being way more affectionate than usual too- I think it's because I said something. The whole night he stuck by my side. Aside from his shyness, he really is QUITE the gentleman and not in a phony way, either. For example: Naturally because I am 17, we have parties in basements with cement floors. (Not all the time but in this case.) Joe was occupying the comfiest seat in the house, but as soon as he realized I had to sit on a cement floor, he gave up his seat. Very sweet, no? I appreciate the small things. By the end of the night we were all pretty hammered and then I decided to drive home. Normally, I'm very opposed to this sort of thing. I didn't even think I was too drunk- more like a strong buzz. Regardless, I got home safely and then decided to never do it again. But guess what! Joe walked me to my car and actually made a move- shocking, right?

2. I went to NYC yesterday!

SO fun! I spent the day in St. Mark's, my favorite part of the city. I went with six friends- one was celebrating a birthday. For the big 1-8 she got a really lame tattoo of an outline of a heart on the back of her neck. Smart, right? So glad I lack the "I want to tattoo fairies/angels/hearts/moons all over my body" girl gene. Anywho, later on we went over to Rockefellar Center to see the tree. I've actually never seen it before so it was quite the treat; minus the horrible mobs and barking children, of course. Next, we went into Saks. Although, I felt extremely out of place with my shabby coat and hoodie, I couldn't help but love every single second of being in that place. I might lack the gene for bad taste in tattoos, but I sure as hell inherited the adoration for all things frilly and expensive. The decorations were lovely, everyone was so nice and welcoming, I never wanted to leave.

3. I went to a party after NYC.
Because my friends never can accept going to bed before midnight, after we got back from the train station, my friends and I christened my new bowl and got McDonalds. After stoned hysterics in the car....

Drive thru person: What would you like to order?
Alyssa: 3 #8s please!
ETP: YEAH! GOT THAT?!...JUST KIDDING. (Seriously, no reason for malice. None at all. I felt horrible afterward, hence "just kidding", also- a bit scared of Drive Thru person spitting in my french fries.)

... We headed over to my friend's house. I walk downstairs and see Coleman.
Coleman, oh Coleman. Man of my dreams. He graduated last year and every girl from my school was in love with him. He is the most charming guy you'll ever meet. A couple months ago, we hung out at a party. We flirted all night and I asked him outside for a smoke. We ended up sitting out there for three hours, not stop talking/laughing. It was wonderful. Later that night, he asked me to bed and we hooked up. When the kissing stopped, the cuddling began. Definitely not a chincy hook-up at all. It had some meaning behind it, or at least it did for me. Unfortunately, after that night, he went back to college and we hadn't talked since last night.

The flirting basically resumed last night. He kept doing that thing, that all guys think is sOoOo clever: walk by and quick pinch/grab of waist. So very sly! Actually, I didn't mind a bit. At the end of the night when I had to leave, Coleman gave me a hug and we exchanged numbers. He's home for a month so hopefully I'll get to have a repeat of our first encounter.

4. Loads of Christmas shopping.
The only upside to spending tons of money was I got to do it with my best friend who is home from the city. As for now, I just have to muster up the motivation to wrap all this shit. Wish me luck!


Merry Christmas, Bloggers=)

My love life is about as hot as the East Coast.

It's currently 12 fucking degrees outside.


I know you all keep telling me to quit this guy like a bad habit but I just can't. Maybe it's because I've actually fooled myself into believing, like so many women do, that there is something there when there really isn't. He's hot, he makes me laugh, I can hang out with him all day, and he pays for everything. Perfect right?
So, I'm not ready to back off just yet...I'll play it cool for a couple more weeks and if nothing results I'll know it wasn't meant to be.

Tonight, I went over to his house and we rented a XMen. Ordered Chinese. Hung out with his friend for a bit. At the end of the night, his friend left and I said:

ETP: I think I'll head out too.
JC: Okay well call me tomorrow.
ETP: Want to walk me to my car?
JC: Oh yeah yeah of course.
-walks to vehicle, starts vehicle, shuts car door-
ETP: Sooo...(in girl lingo: Try a little tenderness, jackass.)
JC: So when do you get out of school tomorrow?
blahblahblah
JC: Alright, well call me tomorrow.
ETP: Will do.
-gets back into vehicle-
ugh.

My mom thought I should try out the super cool "So why aren't you kissing me, Joe?"
Real smooth. Instead I tried-

ETP: do you hang out with a lot of girls or just me?
ETP: sorry if that's out of nowhere
JC: just you
ETP: theres a reason for that, right?
JC: yes
ETP: okay just making sure cause sometimes idk about you joe
JC: how so
ETP: mixed signals
JC: like..
ETP: well sometimes idk if you're shy or just not feeling it, you know? i mean idc. i love hanging out with you but i just want to make sure we're on the same page
ETP: i def want to keep hanging out.
JC: i do want to hang out with you
JC: i really like hanging out with you
ETP: do you?
ETP: that makes me happy
JC: yes
JC: but im going to bed
JC: so call me tomorrow
ETP: i willl
JC: goodnight
ETP: gnight

If it doesn't happen tomorrow, I don't think it ever will. The only thing is- IT ALREADY DID. IT ALREADY HAPPENED. WE MADE OUT. IT WAS AWESOME. LETS DO IT AGAIN PLEASEEE.

I keep having dreams about making out with guys. Not just any guy. Certain ones. Like Jon. I visited him at work today when I left the gym. We're hanging out Sunday...So we shall see how that pans out. My friend, Brian, told me that "make out" dreams mean more than sex dreams. Sex dreams are purely lustful whereas "make out" dreams come from somewhere deeper, emotionally of course. In my case, I think it is a combination of both. I just need something. Anything. Even my subconscious is frustrated with Joe.

I wouldn't be so damn eager to hang out with other dudes if Joe would just man the fuck up. It's really not too much to ask. 18 aside, he's experienced. I'm experienced for God sake. "Making a big deal out of kissing" period ended like freshman year. FUCK.

I'm going to NYC Saturday- I couldn't be more excited. Really. The weather might be shitty but it is completely what I need right now. Some good old fashioned smog and interaction with people just as miserable as me.

Promiscuity in the Holiday Season

Friday kicked off with a great start.
I had a delay for school due to horrrible roads so Pat and I met for coffee.
Following coffee, we took a drive blasting Lil Wayne and Damian Marley with a cigarette in hand. It was seriously the best way to begin my weekend.

After school I met with Joe to go get some CDs (as you read in the last post)
And you also read- no "mackage" as I so eloquently put it.
A bit disappointing but whatever.

I went to a party Friday night and got completely fucking wasted. It was a magical evening. However, as you also read in my last post, lately I've been particularly impatient...So when 1am rolled around and my friend Dave wanted to go to bed- I followed. Go ETP, right? FUCKING WRONG.

As Dave and I are making out- guess who calls? JOE.
Guess who picks up: DRUNK ETP.
I felt reallyyy horrible. Here's this sweet guy calling me to see how my night went and I'm mid make-out sesh with my ex-fling. Shortly after I sort of just rolled over and passed out.

It's not even the kissing that bothered me about the whole situation- it was the fact that Dave and I, at one time, liked each other a great deal. It meant something. As we were kissing he kept saying things like, "I've been thinking about you a lot lately." It freaked me out.

The whole time I wished it was Joe I was kissing.
The weirdest part was I had been waiting for that forever. When it finally happened, it was better than I had expected, exactly what I needed, but the complete opposite of what I wanted.

I woke up the next morning, got McDonalds with my guys and shortly after headed home with some strong coffee to ease my hangover. Around 2 or so I went to a little Portuguese Christmas party- it was lovely=) Delicious food. Great family.

Joe had told me- during our 1am phone conversation - that we would hang out that night. So I called him around 6:30 to see what the deal was and he responded with- "Well, is there anything to do? I'll call you when I figure out something to do."

Hey, dummy, I'm something to do. What the hell kind of question is that? Anyway-

In desperate need of some nicotine- I called up Pat with the proposal of a trip to Starbucks. We smoked a joint on the way there and got some lattes.

Finally, around 9 I'm wondering what the hell is up so I call Joe-

ETP: Hey, Pat just told me about some party so unless you still want to do something, I'm going out with him
Joe: Yeah, yeah. Just go there.

Dear men everywhere: When a girl says something along these lines to you, NEVER EVER should you say "just go there." That is not the response we are looking for.

I went to the LAMEST party ever, chock-full of douche bags. One girl there was actually begging every guy in the room to have sex with her.
Direct quote: "I'M PISSED CAUSE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WON'T FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME."
I nearly vomited. Except I was stoned so I just sort of stared with my mouth open.

I talked to Joe a little today and it didn't go particularly well. All I wanted was him to just call me and tell me what was up. Don't keep me waiting- fair enough, right? Come to find out- his best friend was home from college so they were getting themselves into loads of trouble. Forgivable.

The rest of my day was pretty much spent sulking around the house, watching my family decorate the tree, and eating half my body mass in chestnuts mmmmm =)

IM Convos that define who I am.

ETP: i dont understand the situation with Joe
ETP: we just hung out
ETP: and no mackage
solo pat: whatthefuck
solo pat: what did you do
ETP: just went to FYE and then to his friends house
ETP: who wasnt home but we still hung out in his basement
ETP: it was fun
ETP: but there was no kissing.
ETP: is he waiting for the perfect moment?
solo pat: idkkk
ETP: whatever.
ETP: if it doesnt happen this weekend= friend territory
ETP: i cant believe im back here!
solo pat: oh noo we keep getting back
ETP: ETP is frustrated like none fucking other
ETP: i forgot some of my shit in his car so we met up at lake garda and even then
ETP: nothing
solo pat: that was like perfect
ETP: that would have been perfect moment!
solo pat: i knowww
ETP: ugh.
ETP: he was just like "okay well call me tomorrow!"
ETP: i think im gonna call jon.
ETP: i dont need to peruse just one option
solo pat: elyse
ETP: if one gets serious- ill stop. until then there is no reason to settle after one drunken make out
solo pat: stop FREAKING out
ETP: im not freaking out.
solo pat: well you dont need to call jon
ETP: why the heck not?
ETP: his friends are sweet and have awesome pot
ETP: and hes hot
ETP: and we have a good time
ETP: definitely shouldn't call him.
solo pat: lol fine
solo pat: ETP: his friends are sweet and have awesome pot
solo pat: thats the clincher
ETP: haha well OBVIOUSLY.
ETP: reason why i said it first
ETP: but the longer we do the "getting to know eachother" thing the more bored i get. id rather get to know him naked.
ETP: thats all im sayin
solo pat: oh goddddd

17, impatient, antsy*
A deadly combination, my friends.
What the hell should I do?




*originally: horny- changed in the better interest of my safety.

"Don't want no funk down under"

Yet another update:

After many failed attempts of hanging out, it finally happened last night. Joe picked me up from my house around 9 and we headed off to a party. When I first got there, I was a bit disappointed. There were only a few kids there, no one I knew. So, I asked Joe to go get food and we headed off to Burger King. (What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic.) By the time we got back, the party had doubled in size and a few kids were playing beer pong. Also, we picked up my friend Alyssa- I was sooo thankful I had a friend come with. Made things MUCH easier. Joe and I didn't really get a lot of one-on-one time at the party but I didn't mind much. There was this other realllyyy hot guy, also named Joe, who was playing pong. We were partners together and cleaned up so I was feeling pretty good and drunk. P.S. Sam Adams Winter Lager= DELICIOUS!


As I was kicking major ass at pong, I couldn't help but notice that (my) Joe was being way neglected, at his own party no less. So, I gave my pong partner a hearty high-five and joined Joe for a smoke. Pretty soon people started clearing out and it was about 5 of us left. We were all pretty hammered at this point, except Joe. No drunk driving, no sir. We stayed for maybe another hour- all just sitting around bullshitting. I must have made a good impression because later on Joe told me that when I left to use the bathroom, his friends told him they liked me a lot.
(=

We drop his huge Samoan friend, Justin, off who gave me the biggest hug as he got out of the car (p.s. turns out Samoa is a country. who knew?) The rest of the ride home Joe and I were just talking/laughing about everything. As we're driving close to my house I say to him,
"I want to keep hanging out."
"So lets keep hanging out!"
"No, I mean right now"

So he came inside and we watched SNL reruns and talked some more- both telling one another some things we could have held off on.

FOR EXAMPLE: He felt the need to tell me about one of his drunken sexual escapades.
"Now, I'm not gonna lie, elyse. I put it in her butt."

I appreciate the honesty, HOWEVER!- I never even asked. He chose to tell me- THUS! He wouldn't be lying if he maybe held off on telling me about how he did some girl up the ass.

'Round 2:30 I was sobering out and he was damn near passing out so he decided it was time to call it a night. I walked him to my door and we had the *I think this is it* moment one experiences (mostly at my age- no?) right before the first kiss and then finalllyyyy it happened. Thank Jesus. It would have been safe to assume he was a gay if he left without a kiss/hug/etc. Oh, and it was perfect.

He left. I was so drunk happy I laid down on my couch and passed right out.

This morning I couldn't find my cell phone anywhere- Joe later on confirmed I left it in his car. Because paranoia and me are like two peas in a pod, I am freaking out "what if he reads my text messages" "what if he goes through my pictures" blahblahblah- SO! My friend Ryan (total babe) texts my phone being like "Hey elyse thanks for playing with my balls the other night, hope it got you wet" I didn't help him think of this one- he did it all by himself- but the point is, if Joe says anything about it or it is marked as read- we'll know someone was peaking.

Also- I changed my picture because I feel like I'm becoming more and more paranoid that someone who knows me will find the site- if any of you would like to see the real ETP- facebook me!

Thanks, pal.

IM convo with a friend:

alex: you are cute, just not afraid to speak your mind
alex: which seems to frighten some
ETP: well i dont really care
ETP: i hate when people say that to me alex
ETP: i know you mean well
alex: say which
ETP: its not like the most pleasant thing to hear that i frighten people.
ETP: obviously the ones that matter stick around
alex: the ones that dont matter get frightened by a girl who actually shows some semblence of intelligence
ETP: and if half the people i "frighten" took 10 min to get to know me they'd probably find a lot more than a cynic
alex: there you go
ETP: yeah but no one gets that
ETP: and you bring it up all the time, do people say this a lot?
alex: its just a conclusion that ive reached listening to what you say and watching how people act
alex: but its what i think, and it would explain a lot of your boy issues



Forgive me, but if I'm not totally fucking off base here- this is indeed a round-about way of saying YOU ARE A BITCH.

Thanks, pal.

The joys of txting.

For some silly reason, whenever my friend, Pat, feels like discussing a certain someone with me he uses their initials (mostly, in group settings so our conversation is a little more discrete) He refers to Joe as JC.

Pat: "So JC?"
ETP: Don't call him that! It sounds like you're talking about Jesus.
Pat: Jesus Christ?
ETP: No, the other one.

Later on texting...

ETP: Fingerbang. (Don't ask)
Pat: LMAO are you hanging out with jesus tonight?
ETP: haha don't call him Jesus, that's horrible! But yeah, I'm hanging out with him. If we don't make out I might die from with drawl.
Pat: it is about time you got some
ETP: Seriously dude. Last time was Homecoming. I'm near death, I can see the light.
Pat: Well only *Jesus* can save you now.

Humor via text. Who knew?
I do know that I will be kicking this mother fucker to the curb if he doesn't stick his tongue down my throat. That's all I'm saying.

Updates are in!

Last night I went out with Joe again.
Originally Jon was supposed to come into my work to make plans with me, we decided this Wednesday. Once I established Joe was a babe, I decided I much rather hang out with him Saturday night and together we came up with a bullshit excuse to tell Jon.

So Saturday night rolls around and Jon never even shows up at my work. So I'm thinking this gives me a perfect excuse to cut all emotion off with him- plus I didn't have to lie to get out of hanging out. I run home, tell my mom where I'm off to and she asks about Jon- right as I'm telling her the whole shpiel, Jon calls.

Jon: yo, what up?
ETP: not a lot, you?
Jon: oh man, I'm really sorry that I didn't come visit you tonight. I got backed up at work and ended staying way late. What are you doing tonight?
ETP: Oh well, because you never showed up I made other plans. (a bit manipulative, no?)
Jon: Ughhh, I'm so sorry. What are your plans?
ETP: (slightly annoyed) welll, I'm going to see a movie with a friend.
Person in background of Jon's current location: YO WE GON' HAVE A PARTYYY!
Jon: Yeahh so maybe if you wanna show up with your girlfriend or whatever you can.
ETP: uh, maybe. I'll call you if I'm up to it.


He actually sounded really stoned on the phone. I've decided I'm not nearly as interested in Jon as I am in Joe so I think I made the right choice in blowing off Jon.

Joe picks me up, meets mom (She highly approved of him "oh hes just so cute and friendly"- this makes things so much easier. She's a real pain in the ass if she doesn't like who I'm dating) and then we're on our merry way.

We go to the movies and decide the only acceptable thing to see is Beowulf in 3D, but it didn't start until 10:10 so we went over to get pizza in the meantime.
He paid for both my food and my ticket. The movie was okay and afterwards he brought me home. He said he had a great time, how he wanted to talk to me later on, and I said "Thanks for the great night!" I get out of the car and walk inside. Yes, folks. That was it.

Pizza. Beowulf. Thanks for the great night.
And the blue balls, asshole.
I looked so cute too. I mean really.
No hug, no nothing.
Now all of you have to think in an 18 year old boy's mindset.
I've gotten mixed reviews- some say he could just be shy/nervous, some say he could just think of me as a friend.

We have such great conversation! We laugh and have so much in common. I'm so attracted to him too.

I need an objective point of view here people so give me some damn feedback.

Also- I was nominated for "Most Pessimistic" and "Most Sarcastic" for superlatives. I was flattered.

Seriously?

I guess I HAVE to play along, obviously you people need surveys to really get to know the true ETP. Clearly, a blog about MY LIFE is too vague and impersonal.
Here goes-

The Rules:

1) Put your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2) For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT(this is in capital letters, so it is very serious. No hiding your showtunes, folks!)

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

And away we go....

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? "no one"- alicia keys

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? "vultures"- john mayer HAHAH

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? "a break a pause" - as tall as lions (thats depressing)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? "get gone" - fiona apple

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? "new slang" - the shins

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? "here comes the sun"- the beatles

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? "naomi"- neutral milk hotel

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? "we will become silhouettes"- the postal service

9) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? "hide and seek" - imogen heap

10) WHAT IS 2+2? "i will follow you into the dark"- death cab for cutie

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? "right me up"- state radio

12) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? "clark gable" - the postal service
=)=)=)=)

13) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? "champagne supernova"- oasis mmm pretty much

14) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? "evil"- interpol couldn't be further from the truth!

15) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? "amsterdam"- coldplay

16) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? "don't die in me" -mirah

17) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? "good people" - jack johnson

18) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? "slow hands" - interpol

19) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? "pardon me" - incubus

20) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? "use me" - fiona apple

21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? "the way things are"- fiona apple



well this was overall depressing, so glad I played your little game.