Sunday, October 26, 2008

Hear me roar.

So I sort of began to tell you about the man whore, Chris, I was hooking up with in the last post. However, after rereading his brief post-appearance, I feel that I should go into a little more detail about him.

We've begun this sort of vicious cycle that college has fueled.
We're very good friends and have a lot of chemistry but with him being a very good looking guy and college girls not being much less than SLUTS, the whole exclusive objective becomes virtually obsolete.

The vicious cycle goes a little something like this:
i) we hang out have some laughs
ii) we start drinking
iii) he hits on me and I deflect any of his attempts with some sarcasm, e.g. "I'm gonna try to kiss you tonight so drink up." "Thats going to take far too much booze to ingest in one night so good luck."
iv) i get drunk and make out with him
v) he leaves me to have sex with someone else
vi) hatred.
vii) he apologizes, we start hanging out again

Really. I allow this shit to happen.
To elaborate..

The other night a bunch of us headed downtown to a karaoke bar I've been dying to check out.
We buy a few rounds of beers and I own the stage with a little Sweet Caroline a la Neil Diamond.
Chris and I go outside for a smoke where he tries to kiss me but I'm not nearly drunk enough to allow that to happen so we head inside and buy another round.

As the night progresses, I'm feeling pretty good so I grab Chris. We both just look at each other and he leans in and kisses me. (just a peck) He turns away and goes back to flirting with the cutest girl to hold his fun-sized attention span.
Suddenly, the cops come in and they make everyone get into single-filed lines.
In case, any of you dismissed the fact that I'm 17, well I am. In other words, totally fucked.
I find Chris and hear his roommate call his name.
He grabs my hand and we start booking it to the back of the bar.
We run through an Employees Only marked door into some back storage room trailing about 15 other runaways.
The bar owners are cheering us on, yelling, "RUN, GUYS, RUN. GO GO GO!" Showing us the light at the end of the tunnel reading "EXIT" in case of a fire.
All of us pile out the bar onto some side street making a clean getaway.

Feeling like I was just apart of something bigger than myself, than a karaoke bar, something more like the underground railroad perhaps, (I was loaded give me a break) I light up a smoke and start doing a victory dance in the middle of the street.

Chris and I start making out on the sidewalk (why not? we just DIDNT get arrested) and my friend picks us up on the next street over.

We get back to our dorm and go up to his room. Shortly there after he leaves to go meet his "fuck-buddy"
I see him the next night over a cigarette outside our building.
I made it quite clear that I wanted nothing more to do with the vicious cycle I'd been allowing on account of sheer convenience and instant satisfaction- But what I hadn't taken into account, until now, was the instant disappointment that always seemed to follow the satisfaction. I'm tired of just allowing things like this to happen. I'm tired of asking, why me? Well, because I let it be me.
No more, folks. Chris might be a babe and a very good kisser but on a college campus, he's a dime a dozen.

He, of course, was very understanding.

5 comments:

Cunning_Linguist said...

as the old saying goes.... it takes two to tango. Stop giving the mixed signal kissing type actions and it won't double back on you. I know if a woman was to tell me ( yes, even playfully) that I need to be drunk to kiss you... then it would be the night she walks home. Then to reject affections and then accept them later. Ehhhh.... not good.

Wash your hands of the boy. Be done with it and move on. But don't do the mixed signal thing. Of course we'll walk away and go tag something we know doesn't give us the grief.

ETP said...

No no, I don't need to be drunk to kiss him. Well, I didn't need to be at one point. I really liked him and we were together frequently and alcohol was never involved. However, after he ditched my for the millionth time I stopped everything...unless of course I was drunk. But now I've stopped that too!

Anonymous said...

You don't need this guy. There are plenty of guys at Yale, well lots of guys don't know how many straight guys. Go out explore, be young, adventurous and daring. I agree with the Linguist though, don't send mixed signals. Share intentions right off the bat. Don't be coy, no need to play games, you are all adults. Great blog keep it up!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Good for you! Kick him to the curb. Man whores are a dime a dozen in college. So true.

How are you 17 and in college? Did you graduate high school early?

That story about you guys running out of the bar was exciting! It reminded me of the Summer of '69 video where Bryan Adams was booking it from the cops out of the wearhouse because they were having an illegal apple fight. You'll just have to youtube that video to know what in the hell I'm talking about.

Cunning_Linguist said...

ok, it's been almost a month. BLOG damn you! *shakes you like a rag doll*