Today, the girls and I wanted to take a trip up to the beach. This idea was shut down immediately when we took into consideration the inevitable rush hour traffic coming back and forth from the beach. blahblahblah we ended up going to a huge reservoir just 30 minutes from my house.
Well, just as we're turning on to the road to the reservoir, there appeared to be some construction going on. Some dumb bitch casually steps in front of my fucking car and tells us we have to take a 10 minute detour to the reservoir. Of course, I am very annoyed at this point. Its like for god sakes, I just want to go fucking swimming. There always has to be some sort of obstacle between me and fun.
Anyways, we end up finding this hidden little paradise. However, to our disapointment there were signs everywhere reading "permit required." Being the regular badass, I am, I said "fuck it!" and cooly marched onto the beach, with no permit or worries. In truth, they didn't even ask for one, so I didn't think there was much to worry about.
As the girls and I are stepping into the water, I see my neighbor in the lifeguard chair. She, and her perfect body, was glaring down at me. I did the "oh, HI!" thing, like "OH! I didn't even see you there in your 10 ft lifeguard chair!" Then she loudly says, for all 30 occupants of the private beach to hear, "um. How did you get here?" Avery then replied, "We ran." She apparently didn't think this was very funny, but I sure as hell did. So anyways she goes, "No no, I mean how did they let you in?" "OHHH! Yeah, Jackie's parents have a permit, so we just used hers."
WHAT THE FUCK?
That bitch almost blew my cover. For real. I was pissed. Shes a neighbor. That's practically family status in some neighborhoods, mine being one of them.
Later on, her mom did the "oh, hi" thing. But in this case it was more "what the fuck are you doing here without a permit?" I just don't get it. Is anyone that hurt that three teenage girls sat on a beach today in a private beach without a permit? Did we pollute their water with our cheap, permitless selves? Highly unlikely. Fuck.
All in all, it was a perfect day. I was really pleased with the beach and everything.
Can we just talk about Owen Wilson for a second? Poor guy tried to commit suicide. That's sad. I'm sure the last thing he wants is for everyone in the country to be informed on his illicit suicide attempt.
AND! Britney Spears is being investigated for potential abusive parenting. Biggg shockkerrr! Whoaaa! You really caught me off guard with that one, Brit! I was under the impression you were up for the Mother of the Year Award. What with your, cooter exposing, head shaving, wig wearing, alcohol abusing, seemingless endless bad traits! It was only a matter of time, folks.
Perhaps, she, Lindsey, Paris, AND Nicole can share a cell and blow some lines of coke off eachother's asses. =)
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6 comments:
ya see... that's the problem with Patheticut. I miss it since I moved away but jesus lordy lordy what a bunch of uptight soccer mom bitches in that state. Since when do you need a permit to lay on some rocks and soak up a few rays? They really need to get over themselves. If I were there it would have been an all out war involving name calling and plastic surgery accusations. *sigh* Maybe I'll move back someday. Good times. Goooooo times.
"Patheticut." Brilliant! Haven't heard that one actually but yeah, I plan on getting the fuck out. Glad to see you did. All the way to the OC! Except in NY. All the same, thanks for the comment=)
Petheticut's an old one. Certainly better than explaining to people what the hell a Nutmeg state is or that you are a "nutmegger". WTF is a nutmegger anyways? Born and raised and to be honest, I don't think I've ever eaten nutmeg nor have I ever seen a nutmeg tree/shrub/root/whatever they grow on. But yeah... I made the big move. There's a whole world out here. Come and join us. The water is warm.
Walk into the light Carrol-Anne. Walk intooooo the lighttttttt.
Come to think of it, I've never seen a nutmeg shrub/root/plant either, ever. Couple guys I know said you can trip off it if you eat a lot of it, or something? How desperate do you have to be to eat a chunk (does it come in chunks?)of nutmeg to have a little fun?
Jesus, don't they sell pot there anymore? That place has really gone down the shitter since I left. It does sound like a cool after school special waiting to happen,though.
Yes, pot is still being sold. I believe it is the staple of our economy in my small town, at least amongst the kids. I've had something like 20 kids kicked out of my highschool of 750 people within the last couple years.
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