Not that I would entirely know, since I'm still 17, but how is it that you are considered in your "golden years" when you're 70+, senile, arthritic, and near death?
I'm having a fucking ball being 17.
Granted my last post was very emotional and retarded, but I figure it's all apart of the experience. You learn a whole lot about yourself when you get to those "emotional and retarded" points. To quote Little Miss Sunshine,
Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.
Anywho, shit sucks from time to time but then you have nights like last night and you know that everything, one way or another, will fold out just as it should, despite all of our overally pessimistic predictions of what lies ahead.
This weekend, four of my close friends are celebrating their 17th or 18th birthday.
So we headed over to the Murphy's for a good old-fashioned booze-a-palooza.
The night was great fun. We danced, drank, smoked, and thoroughly enjoyed each others company. Although there were many different cliques at the party, I managed to spend quite a bit of time with everyone.
Around 11:30-midnight everyone started to head home except a small group of kids (7 guys and me) Leaving me as the only girl, naturally every boy was turning on the flirt...that is until Coleman stepped in. We hadn't spent a ton of time together that night but at this point, hooking up is sort of inevitable. (side note: Does this make me easy? I don't think so, right?)
Since there was no need for an ice-breaker, he just gave me a couple kisses on my forehead and cheek. I wasn't entirely prepared to share a bed with him...well, actually. Who am I kidding? I was fully prepared. But I acted like I wasn't. Little hard to get bit to keep him on his toes. We went and laid down on one of the bunk beds and then all the other boys came filing in. Alas, no choice but to stay put for the night unless I wanted to sleep on the floor. It was pitch black so we figured we could get away with kissing if we were quiet about it. Eventually, I proposed a smoke and we made a b-line for the nearest empty room. He did the ear thing again but I used Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's tip:
"After a few minutes too many on the ear, that's when you just grab his head and put his mouth wherever you want it. He'll take it as, "she's so turned on she can't stand it anymore," but it will really be, "this ear shit has to stop." Every one's happy."
Worked like a charm! Major kudos for you, my friend.
So yeah, we got down and dirty and I'll save you the vivid details because this post is running a little lengthy.
Around 4:30, we headed back downstairs to our bunk and passed out.
Best part about the whole bit is that, throughout hooking up/sleeping/waking up/basically until I drove home this morning, we could not stop laughing or kissing or cuddling. Not gay cuddling either. Cute cuddling where you can't help but always wrap your arms and legs around the other person. It was just perfect. He's leaving soon so I'll take it for what is was. However, he did mention he was coming back in May for the whole summer and that we could potentially take things up again.
I'll play it by ear. Oh, Joe is sooo very over. Kicked that motherfucker to the curb. The deets are unnecessary and tired so I'll refrain from listing them. Just thought I'd let y'all know.
Have a good weekend=)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Not Happy.
There's something wrong with me I think.
I smoke too much pot.
I care too much about Joe- he does not care for me at all I'm beginning to fear.
I care too much in general and I can't turn off this constant feeling of disappointment.
My mom says to me, "It's sad to me that you have no friends that care about you as much as you care about them."
Thanks, Mother.
I have no idea where I'm going to college.
I believe my life is at a standstill where something big is about to happen.
The future either holds a lot of good or a lot of bad.
I give so much and receive so little.
Even if people aren't, I feel as though I am taken for granted all the time.
I feel like no one cares as much as me.
My mother said that weeks ago, and I replay it in my head 100 times a day.
I am a slave to this false potential I see in everyone.
I constantly question, What am I doing?
No answer of reassurance.
I try to go from one high to the next and when no high is provided I feel so fucking low it's nauseating.
Whether the high is drug-induced or boy-induced.
Sounds weird, but the only time I ever feel "even" is when I'm with my family.
I love my sisters.
I love my father.
I love my mother but she drives me absolutely fucking crazy and has a personal agenda for every matter I take on.
I feel like my mother has ruined any chance I could be considered a rational person.
I have taken on all of her coping methods: bottling up all emotions and then FUHREAKING out later. I.E. this post. I get into moods where I'm convinced everything good in my life has suddenly gone to shit.
There is definitely something wrong with me.
I smoke too much pot.
I care too much about Joe- he does not care for me at all I'm beginning to fear.
I care too much in general and I can't turn off this constant feeling of disappointment.
My mom says to me, "It's sad to me that you have no friends that care about you as much as you care about them."
Thanks, Mother.
I have no idea where I'm going to college.
I believe my life is at a standstill where something big is about to happen.
The future either holds a lot of good or a lot of bad.
I give so much and receive so little.
Even if people aren't, I feel as though I am taken for granted all the time.
I feel like no one cares as much as me.
My mother said that weeks ago, and I replay it in my head 100 times a day.
I am a slave to this false potential I see in everyone.
I constantly question, What am I doing?
No answer of reassurance.
I try to go from one high to the next and when no high is provided I feel so fucking low it's nauseating.
Whether the high is drug-induced or boy-induced.
Sounds weird, but the only time I ever feel "even" is when I'm with my family.
I love my sisters.
I love my father.
I love my mother but she drives me absolutely fucking crazy and has a personal agenda for every matter I take on.
I feel like my mother has ruined any chance I could be considered a rational person.
I have taken on all of her coping methods: bottling up all emotions and then FUHREAKING out later. I.E. this post. I get into moods where I'm convinced everything good in my life has suddenly gone to shit.
There is definitely something wrong with me.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year!
A new year it shall be! 2008 is going to be killer, I know it. I'm graduating high school, turning 18, going to college (where? who the fuck knows, but I'm going!) etc. etc. Lots of awesome shit.
Boy, did I bring in the New Year with some good clean fun.
Joe and I decided to go our separate ways for the night and hang out with our respective crowds. This I thought was an excellent idea. I can make out with Joe whenever I want, now Coleman...not so often.
The day started off great! My friend, Alex, called me up for a powertoke* before I had work at 3. I took a quick shower, did my hair, and got a call from work saying those sweet, sweet three words, "We're closing early." I was feeling great!
Wait one second there, ETP! Something going according to plan? Better than expected even? Think again!
Some douche bag that had ASKED to come to Alex's house that night for New Year's Fiesta, ratted us out. His dad found a bottle of 151 and Morgan's and continued to interrogate him. He falsely accused Alex of "asking him to supply the booze." So, Douche Bag's Dad calls Alex and asks to speak to his dad. Alex did what any smart teenager would do, he acted like he was his dad. Douche Bag's Dad sort of buys it and shuts up. As I'm pulling up the drive way, still buzzing from the "no work" inform, I see a big truck blocking the whole top of the drive way. Douche Bag's Dad continued to C-block my whole fucking evening. He made Alex call up his dad so he could talk to him personally.
This guy is fucking crazy town. I mean seriously, we're 17-19 years old. It's New Year's Eve. Eat Shit.
For the next two hours we practiced a little damage control, in between baking out his basement.
Somehow we managed to work everything out. I got to the party around 8:30 and there was no booze in sight. (well, except my stash in my purse) They made it pretty clear there would be no drinking tonight. As the night progressed, we managed to hide it pretty well and then everyone came filing in. It turned out to be a pretty big party.
I was sort of bummed because it looked like Coleman would not be bringing in the New Year with us, until around 11 when he showed up, just coming back from another party. Of course we did the whole flirty bit. We danced together and shared a few cigarettes. Out of curiosity and maybe a hint of jealousy, my friend Dave goes to Coleman, "So, Elyse?" to which he responds, "Like fishing with fuckin' dynamite." WHAT?!
Because I had my eye on the prize, and Coleman is such a babe, I let this slide. It's not like I hadn't been planning this shit for a good week and a half anyway.
We sort of went our separate ways and mingled with other people for a little while. All of the sudden, Tila Tequila pops on the screen with her gigantic head and begins the countdown. (This shit really came out of nowhere. Could have been cause I was WASTED at this point but nonetheless) "3, 2, 1," Coleman grabs my face and kisses me. It was perfect.
We kept kissing all night pretty much. And at one point I whispered in his ear, "It's like fishing with fucking dynamite, huh?" I think I scored points with this comment, put the fucker in his place. Later on we decided to "top-bunk-it" and made out while my good friend was having sex in the bunk below (WEIRD!)
The hook up...was less than spectacular. I have a LOT of hair and no hair-tie so it was sort of everywhere. Hands were everywhere. We were kissing so hard, he scratched me with his chin scruff. Then he did something a little weird. He made out with my ear for like 15 minutes. At first it was hot and I was into it. But FUCK. He was practically getting off to my ear. Maybe he has a thing for ears? I wasn't into it. Weird. Then someone came in and he bounced. It was nearing 2am and my friend Jackie wanted to leave, so I announced to the room I was leaving. "Bye everyoneee!" That sort of thing. A few boys got up to hug me. Coleman however was quite set on playing his dumb videogame. He didn't move a muscle, didn't even look at me- and there's no chance he didn't hear me. I decided to not play into his little game and just left.
Around 3am, he calls me asking why I didn't take him aside to say bye. Sure, pal. We texted this morning and he even called me to talk. I got a little nervous and said I had a lot of work to do and that I'd call him later.
He goes back to college in a few weeks so I'll just hang out with him until then.
This would all be much more exciting to me if I didn't really like Joe. But whatever, I can do both! =)
Joe called me a million times last night, so I'll probably see him tonight. He asked if I kissed anyone and I told him I hadn't. I did lie, but at the same time, he doesn't need to know everything just yet.
Do any of you have any particularly memorable New Year's Eve kisses??
*smoke up his basement before work/school/any sort of committment that would be boring otherwise.
Boy, did I bring in the New Year with some good clean fun.
Joe and I decided to go our separate ways for the night and hang out with our respective crowds. This I thought was an excellent idea. I can make out with Joe whenever I want, now Coleman...not so often.
The day started off great! My friend, Alex, called me up for a powertoke* before I had work at 3. I took a quick shower, did my hair, and got a call from work saying those sweet, sweet three words, "We're closing early." I was feeling great!
Wait one second there, ETP! Something going according to plan? Better than expected even? Think again!
Some douche bag that had ASKED to come to Alex's house that night for New Year's Fiesta, ratted us out. His dad found a bottle of 151 and Morgan's and continued to interrogate him. He falsely accused Alex of "asking him to supply the booze." So, Douche Bag's Dad calls Alex and asks to speak to his dad. Alex did what any smart teenager would do, he acted like he was his dad. Douche Bag's Dad sort of buys it and shuts up. As I'm pulling up the drive way, still buzzing from the "no work" inform, I see a big truck blocking the whole top of the drive way. Douche Bag's Dad continued to C-block my whole fucking evening. He made Alex call up his dad so he could talk to him personally.
This guy is fucking crazy town. I mean seriously, we're 17-19 years old. It's New Year's Eve. Eat Shit.
For the next two hours we practiced a little damage control, in between baking out his basement.
Somehow we managed to work everything out. I got to the party around 8:30 and there was no booze in sight. (well, except my stash in my purse) They made it pretty clear there would be no drinking tonight. As the night progressed, we managed to hide it pretty well and then everyone came filing in. It turned out to be a pretty big party.
I was sort of bummed because it looked like Coleman would not be bringing in the New Year with us, until around 11 when he showed up, just coming back from another party. Of course we did the whole flirty bit. We danced together and shared a few cigarettes. Out of curiosity and maybe a hint of jealousy, my friend Dave goes to Coleman, "So, Elyse?" to which he responds, "Like fishing with fuckin' dynamite." WHAT?!
Because I had my eye on the prize, and Coleman is such a babe, I let this slide. It's not like I hadn't been planning this shit for a good week and a half anyway.
We sort of went our separate ways and mingled with other people for a little while. All of the sudden, Tila Tequila pops on the screen with her gigantic head and begins the countdown. (This shit really came out of nowhere. Could have been cause I was WASTED at this point but nonetheless) "3, 2, 1," Coleman grabs my face and kisses me. It was perfect.
We kept kissing all night pretty much. And at one point I whispered in his ear, "It's like fishing with fucking dynamite, huh?" I think I scored points with this comment, put the fucker in his place. Later on we decided to "top-bunk-it" and made out while my good friend was having sex in the bunk below (WEIRD!)
The hook up...was less than spectacular. I have a LOT of hair and no hair-tie so it was sort of everywhere. Hands were everywhere. We were kissing so hard, he scratched me with his chin scruff. Then he did something a little weird. He made out with my ear for like 15 minutes. At first it was hot and I was into it. But FUCK. He was practically getting off to my ear. Maybe he has a thing for ears? I wasn't into it. Weird. Then someone came in and he bounced. It was nearing 2am and my friend Jackie wanted to leave, so I announced to the room I was leaving. "Bye everyoneee!" That sort of thing. A few boys got up to hug me. Coleman however was quite set on playing his dumb videogame. He didn't move a muscle, didn't even look at me- and there's no chance he didn't hear me. I decided to not play into his little game and just left.
Around 3am, he calls me asking why I didn't take him aside to say bye. Sure, pal. We texted this morning and he even called me to talk. I got a little nervous and said I had a lot of work to do and that I'd call him later.
He goes back to college in a few weeks so I'll just hang out with him until then.
This would all be much more exciting to me if I didn't really like Joe. But whatever, I can do both! =)
Joe called me a million times last night, so I'll probably see him tonight. He asked if I kissed anyone and I told him I hadn't. I did lie, but at the same time, he doesn't need to know everything just yet.
Do any of you have any particularly memorable New Year's Eve kisses??
*smoke up his basement before work/school/any sort of committment that would be boring otherwise.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
It is officially Christmas Eve.
SO much shit has happened since I last blogged.
1. I went to a party with Joe friday night.
I really like his friends so going to parties with him is always a blast. He was being way more affectionate than usual too- I think it's because I said something. The whole night he stuck by my side. Aside from his shyness, he really is QUITE the gentleman and not in a phony way, either. For example: Naturally because I am 17, we have parties in basements with cement floors. (Not all the time but in this case.) Joe was occupying the comfiest seat in the house, but as soon as he realized I had to sit on a cement floor, he gave up his seat. Very sweet, no? I appreciate the small things. By the end of the night we were all pretty hammered and then I decided to drive home. Normally, I'm very opposed to this sort of thing. I didn't even think I was too drunk- more like a strong buzz. Regardless, I got home safely and then decided to never do it again. But guess what! Joe walked me to my car and actually made a move- shocking, right?
2. I went to NYC yesterday!
SO fun! I spent the day in St. Mark's, my favorite part of the city. I went with six friends- one was celebrating a birthday. For the big 1-8 she got a really lame tattoo of an outline of a heart on the back of her neck. Smart, right? So glad I lack the "I want to tattoo fairies/angels/hearts/moons all over my body" girl gene. Anywho, later on we went over to Rockefellar Center to see the tree. I've actually never seen it before so it was quite the treat; minus the horrible mobs and barking children, of course. Next, we went into Saks. Although, I felt extremely out of place with my shabby coat and hoodie, I couldn't help but love every single second of being in that place. I might lack the gene for bad taste in tattoos, but I sure as hell inherited the adoration for all things frilly and expensive. The decorations were lovely, everyone was so nice and welcoming, I never wanted to leave.
3. I went to a party after NYC.
Because my friends never can accept going to bed before midnight, after we got back from the train station, my friends and I christened my new bowl and got McDonalds. After stoned hysterics in the car....
Drive thru person: What would you like to order?
Alyssa: 3 #8s please!
ETP: YEAH! GOT THAT?!...JUST KIDDING. (Seriously, no reason for malice. None at all. I felt horrible afterward, hence "just kidding", also- a bit scared of Drive Thru person spitting in my french fries.)
... We headed over to my friend's house. I walk downstairs and see Coleman.
Coleman, oh Coleman. Man of my dreams. He graduated last year and every girl from my school was in love with him. He is the most charming guy you'll ever meet. A couple months ago, we hung out at a party. We flirted all night and I asked him outside for a smoke. We ended up sitting out there for three hours, not stop talking/laughing. It was wonderful. Later that night, he asked me to bed and we hooked up. When the kissing stopped, the cuddling began. Definitely not a chincy hook-up at all. It had some meaning behind it, or at least it did for me. Unfortunately, after that night, he went back to college and we hadn't talked since last night.
The flirting basically resumed last night. He kept doing that thing, that all guys think is sOoOo clever: walk by and quick pinch/grab of waist. So very sly! Actually, I didn't mind a bit. At the end of the night when I had to leave, Coleman gave me a hug and we exchanged numbers. He's home for a month so hopefully I'll get to have a repeat of our first encounter.
4. Loads of Christmas shopping.
The only upside to spending tons of money was I got to do it with my best friend who is home from the city. As for now, I just have to muster up the motivation to wrap all this shit. Wish me luck!
Merry Christmas, Bloggers=)
1. I went to a party with Joe friday night.
I really like his friends so going to parties with him is always a blast. He was being way more affectionate than usual too- I think it's because I said something. The whole night he stuck by my side. Aside from his shyness, he really is QUITE the gentleman and not in a phony way, either. For example: Naturally because I am 17, we have parties in basements with cement floors. (Not all the time but in this case.) Joe was occupying the comfiest seat in the house, but as soon as he realized I had to sit on a cement floor, he gave up his seat. Very sweet, no? I appreciate the small things. By the end of the night we were all pretty hammered and then I decided to drive home. Normally, I'm very opposed to this sort of thing. I didn't even think I was too drunk- more like a strong buzz. Regardless, I got home safely and then decided to never do it again. But guess what! Joe walked me to my car and actually made a move- shocking, right?
2. I went to NYC yesterday!
SO fun! I spent the day in St. Mark's, my favorite part of the city. I went with six friends- one was celebrating a birthday. For the big 1-8 she got a really lame tattoo of an outline of a heart on the back of her neck. Smart, right? So glad I lack the "I want to tattoo fairies/angels/hearts/moons all over my body" girl gene. Anywho, later on we went over to Rockefellar Center to see the tree. I've actually never seen it before so it was quite the treat; minus the horrible mobs and barking children, of course. Next, we went into Saks. Although, I felt extremely out of place with my shabby coat and hoodie, I couldn't help but love every single second of being in that place. I might lack the gene for bad taste in tattoos, but I sure as hell inherited the adoration for all things frilly and expensive. The decorations were lovely, everyone was so nice and welcoming, I never wanted to leave.
3. I went to a party after NYC.
Because my friends never can accept going to bed before midnight, after we got back from the train station, my friends and I christened my new bowl and got McDonalds. After stoned hysterics in the car....
Drive thru person: What would you like to order?
Alyssa: 3 #8s please!
ETP: YEAH! GOT THAT?!...JUST KIDDING. (Seriously, no reason for malice. None at all. I felt horrible afterward, hence "just kidding", also- a bit scared of Drive Thru person spitting in my french fries.)
... We headed over to my friend's house. I walk downstairs and see Coleman.
Coleman, oh Coleman. Man of my dreams. He graduated last year and every girl from my school was in love with him. He is the most charming guy you'll ever meet. A couple months ago, we hung out at a party. We flirted all night and I asked him outside for a smoke. We ended up sitting out there for three hours, not stop talking/laughing. It was wonderful. Later that night, he asked me to bed and we hooked up. When the kissing stopped, the cuddling began. Definitely not a chincy hook-up at all. It had some meaning behind it, or at least it did for me. Unfortunately, after that night, he went back to college and we hadn't talked since last night.
The flirting basically resumed last night. He kept doing that thing, that all guys think is sOoOo clever: walk by and quick pinch/grab of waist. So very sly! Actually, I didn't mind a bit. At the end of the night when I had to leave, Coleman gave me a hug and we exchanged numbers. He's home for a month so hopefully I'll get to have a repeat of our first encounter.
4. Loads of Christmas shopping.
The only upside to spending tons of money was I got to do it with my best friend who is home from the city. As for now, I just have to muster up the motivation to wrap all this shit. Wish me luck!
Merry Christmas, Bloggers=)
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