Oh, how the tables have turned!

I know I was on hiatus for a few months but I think I'm back now for good. I missed all of your blogs and I've spent the last couple weeks catching up on all of my favorites. So! I guess I'll catch you up on what's been happening with me as well.

For those of you who remember Joe, well lets just say, I won so fucking hard!
I do not remember whether or not I posted about him calling me up, while he had a girlfriend, and asking me to go to a party with him. So-

I made sure I looked adorable and showed up fashionably late with a vengeance. We were getting along like old pals until we both started drinking heavily and then things got kind of weird.

He started off on how he still really liked me and how he didn't love his girlfriend anymore blahblahblah. I wasn't really falling for any of this but I still kind of went along with it. Then! He actually started begging me to kiss him. HA! Saying things like, "Just one?" Really, Joe? Easy does it.

Right when I was leaving, I excused myself to the bathroom. After I was all freshened up, I open the door only to find Joe waiting for me! He kind of sort of trapped me and we ended up making out. Oops! This led to him asking me to sleep over and whatever else. After I politely refused for the millionth time, he asked me to hang out tomorrow. "Uh, yeah maybe." "Why not definitely?" "Well because I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow!" And with that I kissed him on the cheek and never saw him again. Victory is mine!

Do I regret kissing him? Nope, cause I got mine. Do I regret letting him cheat on his girlfriend? Not even a little bit.

He then called me almost every single night without fail after this. I never responded or even took the calls until one day I just straight up told him I had a boyfriend and was not even a little interested. Tough break.

Me having a boyfriend at the time was true but not so much anymore. But I'll save that whole run down for another post.

Hey I'm not dead!

I just needed some new material. My posts were getting bitter and repetitive. Summer's almost over, another boy's come and gone, and I'll be off to college in just a few weeks! I am ridiculously excited.

As for now, days are pretty lazy on the East Coast. I sleep in, go to work, go out with friends/ stay in and read. Life isn't seriously thrilling or anything but I know the best is yet to come and right now I just have to enjoy my friends before I leave them all in the dust. Just kidding, I could never. Mostly because there's always next summer and smoking pot by yourself is never as fun as everyone makes it out to be!

Alright. Best be off to work.

Remember the scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's where

that dude says this big thing:

"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, 'Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' You call yourself a free spirit, a 'wild thing,' and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."



Well here's what- if love is the only chance any of us have at experiencing 'real happiness' we're all fucked.

Ugh, it's so overdone.

It never ends.

"I'll be at Chiane's for 1:30. Just text me if you're not coming."

He never came and he never texted.
I waited for 20 minutes before I got the nerve to walk back to my car and drive home.
A few nights later, I smoke pot with my ex-boyfriend and Doug calls him.
My ex informs him I'm at the party.
I'm in the kitchen saying goodbye to everyone when he walks in, gives me a shit-eating grin and I can't help but smile back. Then again, what does one do in situations like these? I leave sad and stoned and exhausted.

Tonight, as I'm finishing up my book, I get a phone call.
I don't recognize the number so I call back.
They don't pick up but I hear a familiar voice on the answering machine.

Joe calls back a few moments later asking, rather politely to his credit, if I knew where he could score some coke. I respond, "Well yes, but surely not right now. It's 10:30 on a monday night."

He says thanks, and says that I should expect to hear from him soon.
He was always well-mannered.