Okay, so. Last night:
I get out of work around 7:30, pick up my friend Jill, then head over to my friend Ryan's for a party. I wasn't really boozin' too hard cause I had to drive. I took like A shot and then kind of perused my other options of having a good time. Translation: "Hey, guys, who brought weed?"
So whatever, Jill and me got blitzed and had a grand old time.
Ryan goes out to get cups and calls his house saying, "I got pulled over!"
So we're all freaking out, why? I'm not sure. Turns out, Ryan just did that so some of the 50 people at his house would leave. I fell for it! So wholeheartedly. I was so nervous for him and everything, I didn't know if he was looking at a DUI or what. But that is neither here nor there.
But whatever, Jill and me get the fuck out of there and go over to Cumby's to grab some snacks and drinks. I was feeling pretty good at the time, keep in mind.
So, I walk up to the dirty cashier woman and try making some sort of lame joke.
I couldn't actually tell you what it was because I have no idea what I said.
But when I said it she had absolutely no response. None. Didn't even bother to look at me.
So I go, "Apparently, you didn't find that funny." Again, no response.
At this point, the situation could not get much more awkward.
Finally, she just hands me my change and continues to not look at me.
Jill and I talked about it later that night and found the whole situation fucking hysterical but at the time it was quite awful.
Blahblahblahh we went to some lame bonfire involving no drinking and no fun.
Everyone kept pulling the, "OKAY! Are youu high?"
No, I'm just in a really good mood.
Oh yeah, I helped out at this benefit on Saturday morning before work.
It was for a peer of mine that died in a car crash. There was a scholarship set in his name, and all the proceeds from the benefit went to it.
My neighbor was trying to hook me up with her friend's son. My neighbor had told me that his name was Mike, he went to UConn and was a total babe.
I was a little disappointed to find him only a couple inches taller than me and not all that cute! (side note: he was wearing sunglasses so I couldn't really see his face.)
Later on, I facebooked him and was SHOCKED.
Tell me, Mike, why did sunglasses seem like a good choice when you were trying to impress a girl? Especially when the best part of your face is not exactly highlighted by your supah cool shades. (side note: they were white. and tacky. courtesy of volcom? some douchey skateboarding company I'm sure.) He looked like he was straight out of a PACSUN catalogue.
All the same, he was sooo much more attractive on Facebook than he had been in person.
I was disappointed to say the least with his presentation on Saturday, but whatever.
Maybe I'll see him again in the near future. Or, maybe not.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Porn for AZNS and freaks.
It's been a while. My 3 readers total must be in a total state of disrepair but nonetheless, I'm back.
I have been busy as fuck.
For real, busybusybusy.
I really don't even know where to begin.
Well, I just got home from work and am planning to go out to a local diner in a few minutes. Not exactly what I would consider shit tons of fun, but oh well. That's what you get when you're underage and shit out of luck for a place to party. Plus, the Patheticut living status doesn't help.
Anyways, I am sick and tired of having to provide, for some friends, something to do.
Do I look like a fucking event planner? Clearly, not. And THEN, if I do something fun and don't include one of these friends, I am suddenly accused for alienating them. For goodness sake, shut the fuck up. PLEASE.
Whatever. Everyone sucks. Except the friends I actually do like=)
Yesterday I went to the mall with the Spanish exchange students and their owners.
I think I included the Spaniards in the last post...
Well, I'm in love with one. Not really. But I could be if he wasn't so...pre-pubescent? weird.
So we went to the mall and checked out Anime Porn at FYE. May I just say, WHAT THE FUCK?
The most disturbing shit I have yet to have witness.
"Project Boobs" was my personal favorite.
The cover was of a cartoon AZN (asian, lol) girl (who was crying p.s.) with her huge ass taking up half the picture. On said ass, was some sort of cum design. At first, I thought it might read something, but no. Just a random pattern. Abstract cum? hmm. Then if you looked close, you could see some otherrr fluids...shooting out of her string thong. This shit was just fucked. Just imagine all this as a cartoon. They had little descriptions on the back too...one read like this:
"The mysterious Uji likes to have his way with unsuspecting women on the train. Except, he's really bad at it. SO! The well learned Taki takes Uji under his wing and teaches him. How to romance the ladies like a true champion." WITH the sentence fragment and everything.
This was followed by a cartoon of a Japanese dude with long hair doing it doggy style with a Japanese girl...who was also crying. Fucked.
Conclusion: If you watch Anime Porn, never EVER talk to me. Unless you'll let me actually watch it. I must say, I'm a little intrigued. Only because I can't imagine that shit actually being sexy or something that would get me, or anyone for that matter, going.
I have been busy as fuck.
For real, busybusybusy.
I really don't even know where to begin.
Well, I just got home from work and am planning to go out to a local diner in a few minutes. Not exactly what I would consider shit tons of fun, but oh well. That's what you get when you're underage and shit out of luck for a place to party. Plus, the Patheticut living status doesn't help.
Anyways, I am sick and tired of having to provide, for some friends, something to do.
Do I look like a fucking event planner? Clearly, not. And THEN, if I do something fun and don't include one of these friends, I am suddenly accused for alienating them. For goodness sake, shut the fuck up. PLEASE.
Whatever. Everyone sucks. Except the friends I actually do like=)
Yesterday I went to the mall with the Spanish exchange students and their owners.
I think I included the Spaniards in the last post...
Well, I'm in love with one. Not really. But I could be if he wasn't so...pre-pubescent? weird.
So we went to the mall and checked out Anime Porn at FYE. May I just say, WHAT THE FUCK?
The most disturbing shit I have yet to have witness.
"Project Boobs" was my personal favorite.
The cover was of a cartoon AZN (asian, lol) girl (who was crying p.s.) with her huge ass taking up half the picture. On said ass, was some sort of cum design. At first, I thought it might read something, but no. Just a random pattern. Abstract cum? hmm. Then if you looked close, you could see some otherrr fluids...shooting out of her string thong. This shit was just fucked. Just imagine all this as a cartoon. They had little descriptions on the back too...one read like this:
"The mysterious Uji likes to have his way with unsuspecting women on the train. Except, he's really bad at it. SO! The well learned Taki takes Uji under his wing and teaches him. How to romance the ladies like a true champion." WITH the sentence fragment and everything.
This was followed by a cartoon of a Japanese dude with long hair doing it doggy style with a Japanese girl...who was also crying. Fucked.
Conclusion: If you watch Anime Porn, never EVER talk to me. Unless you'll let me actually watch it. I must say, I'm a little intrigued. Only because I can't imagine that shit actually being sexy or something that would get me, or anyone for that matter, going.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Well, Folks
Last night was quite eventful, quite.
[see, I repeated myself there, so you know a good story is coming.]
It was the first of many parties at my friend's house.
We were talking wednesday night and were thinking about maybe getting together friday night to play some beer pong with a couple kids. emphasis on COUPLE.
So, friday afternoon rolls around and we make some plans that I'll head over to the Murphys house after work. (side note: my new job RULES. seriously. rules. I work with a male model. seriously. male model. Hes Greek. and damn fine.) So I get out at around 8 and get some beer and head over to the Murphys. I was one of the first people to get there, the others were picking up more beer, apparently my Milwaukees Best isn't good enough for some people! you know what I say, fuck off! It's cheap, light, and will get you fucked up. What more can you ask for?
That being said, I'll continue, a few people joined in on the fun and we started off the night with a game of beer pong. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term "beer pong" its a drinking game (obviously) played on a ping pong table. You set up a triangle of cups full of beer (solo cups really set the mood I feel) and there are 2 people on each side. The teams take turns trying to shoot ping pong balls into the opposing team's cups. When a ball lands in a cup, the cup is removed from the triangle and drank. Which ever team takes down the others' triangle first, wins. It's fun, I guess.
It was probably the worst game I have ever played. I took down maybe 2 cups. Fucking pitiful. And of course the guy I'm sort of crushing on, we'll call him Jeff (his actual name, I have no secrets here), was there watching the whole time. I felt like a major douche, especially when I had been talking myself up since wednesday night. Saying how I was going to kick his ass in pong. The only ass that was being kicked was MINE.
Then seriously 20 people show up at the house, including some Spanish exchange students that are staying with a few of my friends. So yeah, they all showed up. I really showed them a good time too. We played some more drinking games and got pleasantly shitfaced. Later on, we went and jumped in the pool and hottub. That lasted for about 30 min and everyone dried off and continued drinking!
Just when everyone is heading home, I decide to sleep over hoping to maybe get some alone time with Jeff. And by alone time I mean hardcore make out sesh. (exageration? probably.) Well, as I'm saying goodbye to everyone, I ask someone, "wheres jeff?" "oh, he's downstairs puking" "ohhh, greatttt." So much for the hardcore make out sesh! I ended up taking care of his ass for 2 fucking hours. Then I smoked a little weed and passed out, but that is neither here nor there. I tucked him in and then continued to hold a bowl for him to puke in. Do I get a thank you this morning? NO. No thank you. Should I be a little pissed about that? Its not like I was having a blast sitting with him while he ralphed all night long.
I found out later that after he had had about 13 beers he took 2 shots and then drank more beer. Can you say, rookie?? I can! ROOKIE. There I said it. Or at least, I typed it. When they make a rhyme about something, you should probably fucking pay attention. i.e., liquor before beer, in the clear; beer before liquor, never sicker. How many times does something need to happen before someone is like, "Hey, they should make a rhyme about that, that way no one will ever make that mistake again." And then you choose not to listen to it?! ROOKIE. fuck.
So whatevz. I came home around 8:30 with a horrible hang over, climbed into bed and passed out. I did not wake up until my sister came in and woke my ass up at 3pm. Crazy, right? I was dreaming and everything. Probably could have slept until at least 4.
I spent the rest of the day doing a whole lot of nothing. It was perfect and much needed.
[see, I repeated myself there, so you know a good story is coming.]
It was the first of many parties at my friend's house.
We were talking wednesday night and were thinking about maybe getting together friday night to play some beer pong with a couple kids. emphasis on COUPLE.
So, friday afternoon rolls around and we make some plans that I'll head over to the Murphys house after work. (side note: my new job RULES. seriously. rules. I work with a male model. seriously. male model. Hes Greek. and damn fine.) So I get out at around 8 and get some beer and head over to the Murphys. I was one of the first people to get there, the others were picking up more beer, apparently my Milwaukees Best isn't good enough for some people! you know what I say, fuck off! It's cheap, light, and will get you fucked up. What more can you ask for?
That being said, I'll continue, a few people joined in on the fun and we started off the night with a game of beer pong. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term "beer pong" its a drinking game (obviously) played on a ping pong table. You set up a triangle of cups full of beer (solo cups really set the mood I feel) and there are 2 people on each side. The teams take turns trying to shoot ping pong balls into the opposing team's cups. When a ball lands in a cup, the cup is removed from the triangle and drank. Which ever team takes down the others' triangle first, wins. It's fun, I guess.
It was probably the worst game I have ever played. I took down maybe 2 cups. Fucking pitiful. And of course the guy I'm sort of crushing on, we'll call him Jeff (his actual name, I have no secrets here), was there watching the whole time. I felt like a major douche, especially when I had been talking myself up since wednesday night. Saying how I was going to kick his ass in pong. The only ass that was being kicked was MINE.
Then seriously 20 people show up at the house, including some Spanish exchange students that are staying with a few of my friends. So yeah, they all showed up. I really showed them a good time too. We played some more drinking games and got pleasantly shitfaced. Later on, we went and jumped in the pool and hottub. That lasted for about 30 min and everyone dried off and continued drinking!
Just when everyone is heading home, I decide to sleep over hoping to maybe get some alone time with Jeff. And by alone time I mean hardcore make out sesh. (exageration? probably.) Well, as I'm saying goodbye to everyone, I ask someone, "wheres jeff?" "oh, he's downstairs puking" "ohhh, greatttt." So much for the hardcore make out sesh! I ended up taking care of his ass for 2 fucking hours. Then I smoked a little weed and passed out, but that is neither here nor there. I tucked him in and then continued to hold a bowl for him to puke in. Do I get a thank you this morning? NO. No thank you. Should I be a little pissed about that? Its not like I was having a blast sitting with him while he ralphed all night long.
I found out later that after he had had about 13 beers he took 2 shots and then drank more beer. Can you say, rookie?? I can! ROOKIE. There I said it. Or at least, I typed it. When they make a rhyme about something, you should probably fucking pay attention. i.e., liquor before beer, in the clear; beer before liquor, never sicker. How many times does something need to happen before someone is like, "Hey, they should make a rhyme about that, that way no one will ever make that mistake again." And then you choose not to listen to it?! ROOKIE. fuck.
So whatevz. I came home around 8:30 with a horrible hang over, climbed into bed and passed out. I did not wake up until my sister came in and woke my ass up at 3pm. Crazy, right? I was dreaming and everything. Probably could have slept until at least 4.
I spent the rest of the day doing a whole lot of nothing. It was perfect and much needed.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
I'm bad at titling things.
I wish I were older. Why? Because I hate being associated with girls my age.
I was in Walmarts the other day picking up school supplies and some girl, who seemed relatively close to me in age was on her cell phone. She was just blabbing away to her friend, who I'm sure was just as annoying and dumb, without a care in the world, or any concern for anyone around her. Laughing and carrying on! Waving her hands as she talked, she actually hit me accidentally. If looks could kill, I would have crucified this bitch with my death glare. Maybe its an East Coast thing, but I fucking hate anyone that is loud and obnoxious in places that are CLEARLY inappropriate for this sort of behavior.
Same thing the other day at Starbucks. I go to Starbucks with my dad on Sundays to get some tea and catch up on current events. I don't know how it is in other states than Patheticut (stole that one from cunning linguist) but since there are limited spots for the kool kidz to hang, they flock to Starbucks! They are loud and all they do is smoke cigarettes and lay all over each other in the parking lot. Its obscene. One time, one of them was actually playing the electric guitar in the parking lot with an amplifier and everything! Along side the shitty guitar playing, his friend sang some death metal bullshit.
You know what else bugs me? When some Hispanics (see I'm being PC by saying SOME) think that if others can't understand what they're saying, it doesn't mater how loud they talk. WRONG. It does matter. Cause it annoys the fuck out of everyone, me in particular, who has to listen to it! And I'm only saying Hispanics because I haven't really noticed any other particular group of foreigners that did this as regularly as said group. Really people I'm not trying to offend. I'm Portuguese, for goodness sake. I'm practically one of them, except with better hair=)
School started today. I'm sure this year will entail a lot of bullshit, but that's okay. My classes aren't too bad. I've got good people in most of them. I get to leave early 3 times a week, so I can't really complain.
This a completely pointless post. Sorry.
I was in Walmarts the other day picking up school supplies and some girl, who seemed relatively close to me in age was on her cell phone. She was just blabbing away to her friend, who I'm sure was just as annoying and dumb, without a care in the world, or any concern for anyone around her. Laughing and carrying on! Waving her hands as she talked, she actually hit me accidentally. If looks could kill, I would have crucified this bitch with my death glare. Maybe its an East Coast thing, but I fucking hate anyone that is loud and obnoxious in places that are CLEARLY inappropriate for this sort of behavior.
Same thing the other day at Starbucks. I go to Starbucks with my dad on Sundays to get some tea and catch up on current events. I don't know how it is in other states than Patheticut (stole that one from cunning linguist) but since there are limited spots for the kool kidz to hang, they flock to Starbucks! They are loud and all they do is smoke cigarettes and lay all over each other in the parking lot. Its obscene. One time, one of them was actually playing the electric guitar in the parking lot with an amplifier and everything! Along side the shitty guitar playing, his friend sang some death metal bullshit.
You know what else bugs me? When some Hispanics (see I'm being PC by saying SOME) think that if others can't understand what they're saying, it doesn't mater how loud they talk. WRONG. It does matter. Cause it annoys the fuck out of everyone, me in particular, who has to listen to it! And I'm only saying Hispanics because I haven't really noticed any other particular group of foreigners that did this as regularly as said group. Really people I'm not trying to offend. I'm Portuguese, for goodness sake. I'm practically one of them, except with better hair=)
School started today. I'm sure this year will entail a lot of bullshit, but that's okay. My classes aren't too bad. I've got good people in most of them. I get to leave early 3 times a week, so I can't really complain.
This a completely pointless post. Sorry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)